The state of California let two people who are long passed now off with a pass for abusing my family. I’ll never ever forgive them, even if I wasn’t abused in that way, I know I got knocked around and mentally abused for years.
I’ll never forgive them.
This is the time of year I had to go to court with my mom a bunch when she was still standing on her adoptive parents side. She broke down when I was about 7 and told me the truth. Showed me her diaries, etc.
I was seven.
I already knew these people that adopted her were monsters. The granny used to kick my ass on a regular basis and in reality the rest of it I just don’t even think about. They’re dead both of them and God is handling them now, pastors and the like fucking kicking the shit out of kids at Sunday School.
I had to go to high school with my “cousin” who I did love actually but she saw what those old fuckers did to me, beating me up doing whatever.
I still have physical scars.
I used to have one of the bit of that family call me on the phone while I was working and before caller ID I never knew who it was. He as fucking scary and used to slap me around too.
I never told.
I never told when my mom was giving me creams for irritations little girls of 3-5 shouldn’t have. My mom told me it was normal. It wasn’t her fault, I’m not mad at her, she was raised that way. She didn’t know either for a long time.
It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t any of the kids faults. It was terrifying there.
The papers all make it sound like the DA got it wrong, but no, they didn’t. Those people were fucking evil, straight up. They deserved every horrible thing that happened to them. I can’t even pretend they didn’t. I can’t even blame my mom’s own struggle.
They were bad people who “suffered” a bit but ended up getting half a mil from the county. They were bad people who regularly hit and abused children, even if the sexual shit isn’t true (and I don’t know like I said I blacked out there a lot) even if I was afraid of the play house, the pool house, the chicken coop, even if I cried and would sneak off to call my dad’s mom, shit my stepdad’s mom if I ever had to stay there over night, I know they absolutely kicked the shit out of me for years. They kicked the shit out of me at church too. Slapped me any time I asked a question because I was the Decons grandaughter.
Don’t believe everything you read when someone is cleared of a crime. Just saying sometimes the people that should speak (me for instance but no one asked me) up don’t and I am truly sorry for that. The girls that did speak may have been conned by the cops to go on record but almost nothing they said was untrue.
I’m a survivor of child abuse from someone that the state of California trusted to give my mother when they adopted her. My mother whom I love is a victim of this system and is almost ireparable because of this. I’m sensitive to her because we both went through the same shit from the same people. The rest of our family doesn’t get it, doesn’t get why we’re sick.
I’ve chosen the path of being the warrior princess my mom should have been able to be for me. Sometimes when my mom was angry, she said I was a mistake and an accident and whatever and that’s okay, because I know the truth.
I was my mom’s ticket out. I was sent here to stand up for my mom and be her friend and make sure no one ever hurts her again. Because its not going to happen ever, ever again.